Sunday, 12 April 2009

It felt just like love.

i tried to write something tonight. But my words seem to be useless..

I finally made it. I finally made a clean getaway.. But maybe I need a new one now..

Artist: Maria Taylor
Album: Lynn Teeter Flower
Year: 2007
Title: Clean Getaway

I made my place by the door.
I didn't know what I was waiting for.
Felt just like home.
Except no grass, no yard, no pictures.

I could see across to the park.
And there were friends, they were laughing hard.
They looked just like my home.
With no face, no name, no voice I'd know.

I finally made it.
I made a clean getaway.
I finally made it.
I made a clean getaway.

I met someone at the bar.
He had a great smile and a great heart.
He felt just like love.
Except no fear of losing, and it wasn't tough.

I finally made it.
I made a clean getaway.
I finally made it.
I made a clean getaway.
And I miss you,
I miss you every single day.

<3 Penny

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Love isn't brains

"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it"
Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Season 3

Who knew that Spike was so thoughtful..??



Sunday, 5 April 2009

American Girl

I fell in love with Tom Petty in the movie Ladder 65. The movie makes me cry like a baby girl, but it was there when I listened to the song You and Me. Curiousity filled me and I looked for more of his songs.. Then I found this one.

This song makes me happy. Makes me want to jump up and down all the time. Dance around my room and sing. I am not American, but this song, I think I have a bit of the girl that he is singing about. At least I wish. It'd be so cool to have a song that describes you so free, independent, and at the same time, strong and selfless..

You see, I believe that changes help you grow. When I broke up with a long time boyfriend I too the small jump and I left to New Zealand for 6 months. When I didn't know what path to take on my life, I took the risk and I came to U.K. Right now I'm considering either going to Canada or going to New Zealand, again. I am not afraid of going to different places. Some people say that its more about running away from what I fear, or avoiding things. Maybe I do. But I think that sometimes a change is what you need to feel better.. Either going to another country, have a haircut (I cut my hair btw), dye your hair, have a new hobbie, see a new place.. And I am young, I get to do these things, until I can't anymore.. But still, when I won't be able to go around the world any time I need a change, I know that I will find a way to keep evolving into something different, trying to not get stuck into the same thing, trying to get better and to know me better every time.

Hell, I can say I'm an American Girl (latinAmerican but whatever). I want to say this is my song, so I will say I am American.

I love this song. Please, enjoy it <3

Artist: Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers
Album: Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers
Year: 1976
Title: American Girl

Well, she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn't help thinkin'
That there was a little more to life somewhere else
After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
And if she had to die tryin'
She had one little promise she was gonna keep

O yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

Well it was kind of cold that night,
She stood alone on her balcony
Yeah, she could hear the cars roll by,
Out on 441 like waves crashin' on the beach
And for one desperate moment
There he crept back in her memory
God it's so painful when something that's so close
Is still so far out of reach

O yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl


Ps. And how cool is the name of the band? I'd totally have a band called: Penny Lane and the Heartbreakers... Totally.

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Beautiful Mess

Some people don't understand that I am a complicated woman (or girl). Its not that I am proud of it. Not, I am not. But this is who I am.

I am stubborn, and impulsive, loyal, friendly, insecure and strong at the same time. I am independent, I don't like feeling completely committed to something so soon, or at all, but I know that if I ever find the right person not even a storm of people against it will stop me. I hate growing old and I wish I could be just like a little girl all the time, but at the same time I enjoy having the independence that my years have given me.

I don't follow orders. Unless is from someone who's above me (aka, father, boss, teacher). And if you tell me that I should do something, I will do the opposite. I am a private person, I don't like people knowing what I do, what I don't do and then telling me what they think about my decisions. I don't like that. At all. I can't trust people so easily, I have many secrets that I won't ever tell to you unless you show me that I can trust you.

I might look sweet but I am a bit cold inside. I've never fallen in love, I believe in the chemistry between people more than I believe in love at first sight. I believe that love is more as a chemistry thing between two people, is like having a best friend and a lover at the same time. And I do believe that you have to pass the test of the talk before deciding you want to be with some one. For me, in a relationship is important that you can actually spend hours talking to someone but that you can't even feel the hours passing by.

I can be a close minded person and I often take extreme decisions. I don't often see things between the shades of gray..

People, some people, want to see me with their own visions of what I'd like, what I should like. I don't work that way. I am who I am, I might not know what I want yet, but I am sure what I don't want. I break stereotypes and I enjoy doing it. I am a beautiful mess sometimes...

But I think that all of these things define me, good or bad, they are part of me and even if some people find it complicated to deal with me, I am not a bad person, if you just let me be, you will find me quite entertaining.

Artist: Jason Mraz
Album: We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things
Year: 2008
Title: A Beautiful Mess

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
Based on your body language,
your shouted cursive I've been reading
You're style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction
'Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And it's a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like, we are picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are

Thursday, 2 April 2009


But Pinocchio was also a puppet... and he wished really, really hard on a shinny star to become a boy again, and he did... right? So it doesn't have to be always a puppet... right?

Artist: Gregory And The Hawk
Album: Gregory And The Hawk
Year: 2005
Title: I'm Your Puppet

I'm your puppet
I'll learn to love it
and I'll undress
if you need it
but please don't need it
if you need it
I'll scream out

weave a secret
I will sweep it
beneath the carpet
where you'll keep it
how weak is that?
wish I was worth it
to you

review my wishes
for fair weather
'cause I know if the clouds with rains or snows
you wont be there
how weak is that?
wish I was worth it
to you


She dreams in blue.

I have a situation...

When I'm in peace and I have nothing on my mind, I can sleep for 8 hours exactly, and I wake up all fresh and happy and younger..? (as younger as the beauty sleep can get to you). But if I have something on my mind, good or bad, I wake up before my eight hours. I open my eyes quickly, I can even hear myself gasping. Saying the words that so many teenagers say these days: omg, what if? And then my mind starts revolting around thoughts and ideas, and songs and lyrics, and feelings and moments and time that will take my breath away, in a good way or a bad way.

People tell me, you'd have a diary, write everything that worries you before going to sleep and then you won't wake up worrying about that. But the thing is, first: I can't write a diary every night. I wasn't able to do it while I was a kid, even less right now. Second: not all my thoughts are worries. Sometimes my mind just wanders away and try to think about all the possibilities that I might be able to do. What should I do or should I do. Its quite funny, because I am considered a quite impulsive person.

Yeah, I am impulsive. But I am an impulsive thinker. You see, I do the things without a thought. I am passionate and impulsive, I want to know things and I want them now. Not tomorrow, or the day after. I like moving ahead and doing what my feelings dictate in that second. Should I be angry? I will be angry. Do I feel like kissing him? I will kiss him. Do I feel that this is not right? Then it is not right. That's how I work. But, the thing happens after my act of impulsiveness... Then I start thinking... And I think about all the things that might happen after my selfish impulsive act: Maybe I wasn't supposed to be angry. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I'd not kissed him, or maybe its ok. Maybe it is right, but I'm just biased.

So I am an impulsive thinker.. and all my thinking happens just a couple of hours before I am supposed to be awake... Those thoughts creep into my mind when I'm having my last lag of dreams... And they wake me up... And then I start doing my thinking.

As a hymn for my thinking dreams (and because since yesterday I've been having them) here's this song: Because I dream in blue. Because I decided that the thoughts are blue.

Artist: Josh Woodward
Album: Other Songs
Title: She Dreams In Blue

The tiptoes on the bedroom floor
These quiet eyes are spinning in the dark
The secret wish that none will know
She keeps it locked up in her pale heart

Wait for it, it's tired and it's true
Wait for it, it's all she ever knew

She dreams in blue
Wait for it, it's all she ever knew

The background hum of city streets
And whispers from the neighbors intertwine
The distant glow of beacon lights are
Breaking through the cracks between the blinds

Wait for it, it's hiding out of view
Wait for it, it's all she ever knew

She dreams in blue
Wait for it, it's all she ever knew

She opens up her weary eyes
The foggy cloud of vision fills the air
She strains to make some sense of all the
Abstract shapes and colors everywhere

But all the blue just fades away dissolving in a haze of grey
And lost inside her empty mind is everything she tried to find
And all the blue just fades away, she lost it in a haze of grey

She dreams in blue
Wait for it, it's all she ever knew